When You Don’t Know
"I don't know" has been the theme of my life these past few months, and may I say that living with the words "I don't know" posted like a billboard on your life is daunting, to say the least. Especially when you're at the age where everyone around you seems to be moving forward, while you're stuck in park.
"I don't know where I'm going with my career."
"I don't know what God's plan is for my life."
"I don't know what my next steps after graduation look like."
"I don't know how I'm going to make it financially."
"I don't know if I'll ever meet the right person."
Three simple words that carry so much weight—it can be heavy. Me being the type of person who needs a sense of control, having no control over the I-don't-know's of my life is paralyzing. Anyone with me on this?
Every new year I have a theme that would echo throughout the coming months, but to my surprise I entered 2019 with absolutely no idea what words I could hang onto that would set the trajectory of my year. If there was a word or phrase it would be, "I don't know."
The only scripture I could think to cling onto as I counted down into 2019 was Proverbs 16:9 (NKJV), "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." Ironically enough while holding on to this verse for dear life, I had no plan whatsoever. As I meditated on this verse and asked God why, I realized one thing—I may not have a plan, but God knows exactly where I need to go.
Some of you might be on the same boat as I am, sailing aimlessly through this year. Let me encourage you as I encourage myself today—for every "I don't know," God says, "I do know."
...But the Lord directs his steps
You may not have a single clue as to where you are going in your life, but let me shed some truth that even when we cannot see the road ahead of us, God has already paved a way. Life is better understood in hindsight, and every lesson is learned after the test.
We will never truly know the big picture of our life, I'm honestly still coming to terms with this, but we can trust in our Maker, the Author and Finisher of our faith that He does.
If we trust in Him, even when trusting feels impossible, we have hope that where we will be tomorrow is covered in His grace because we know that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)
When we cling to God's Word and keep it in our hearts, it will light the way (Ps. 119:105) even when there seems to be no way.
I challenge you, as I've challenged myself, to ask God what character in us He is refining. Sometimes God allows us to live deep in the uncertainties of life to show us that life is uncertain, but He never is.
Sometimes being overwhelmed with I-don't-knows calls our faith to arise and our trust to run deeper in Christ. Maybe your I-don't-know is meant to steer you to a new discovery of yourself in Christ or a discovery of who Christ is in your life.
If you're confronted with a never-ending list of I-don't-know's in your life, let this be an encouragement and a challenge to step out in faith and keep walking.
One thing I have found to be a saving grace in my life is knowing that even if I miss the mark in my life or I make the wrong turn, God is never limited by my misdirects.
In fact, He is never surprised when we take the wrong turn because He knows our every step since He is the One who has planned our hope and future in the first place (Jer. 29:11).
I have come to realize that He uses our mishaps to show us more of His grace and His power. In those moments, He simply takes our hand and brings us where we need to be unphased by the beaten path we often find ourselves in. God is always in the business of moving forward.
Instead of focusing on the uncertainty of life focus on the certainty of Christ, because in our Good Shepherd everything is settled and sure.